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Staying safe when you start dating again

The risks after a divorce are a little different: old shared accounts, money from a settlement, children at home, and sometimes an ex who won't let go.

By the Just Divorced Singles editorial teamUpdated · 4 min read

In short

On Just Divorced Singles, photos are reviewed but what members write is not checked, so treat every profile as unconfirmed until you've met. Never send money to someone you haven't met. Untangle shared accounts with your ex before you start. In the US, report scams to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov; in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, to Report Fraud.

Key facts
Report a scam (US)FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov or 1-877-382-4357
Report online fraud (US)FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center, ic3.gov
Report a scam (England, Wales, NI)Report Fraud, 0300 123 2040
Report a scam (Scotland)Police Scotland on 101
Domestic abuse helpUS 800-799-7233 · UK 0808 2000 247 (Refuge)

Before your first profile: separate your digital life from your ex

Years of marriage leave a lot of shared logins behind. Spend an evening on these before you start dating:

  • Passwords. Change the password on your email, phone account and anything your ex might know or have guessed, and turn on two-step verification for your email.
  • Location sharing. Check your phone's settings and any family or map apps for location sharing you set up years ago and forgot about.
  • Shared plans and clouds. Family phone plans, shared photo albums and shared cloud storage can show your ex your photos, contacts or whereabouts. Move to accounts in your own name.
  • Cards and bank accounts. Pay for dating from an account only you can see. Checkout shows the billing name that will appear on your statement.

None of this is about suspicion. It's finishing the separation, and it makes everything that follows safer.

What we check, and what we don't

On Just Divorced Singles every photo is reviewed. What members write about themselves (age, job, marital status, children) is not checked. Some members carry an optional ID badge, meaning they passed a check by LEM Verify using a photo ID and a selfie. It tells you their face matches a document. It doesn't tell you they're single, kind or honest about everything else.

Profiles are also shared with partner sites in the same network, so the people who can see and message you aren't only members of this site. How it works explains more.

Romance scams: the pattern to know

Scammers look for people who are lonely, newly single and may have money from a house sale or settlement, which describes many people in the year after a divorce. The Federal Trade Commission describes a pattern that repeats:

  • They can't meet in person, often claiming to work abroad, on an oil rig or in the military.
  • They move fast, talk of love early and want to leave the dating site for private messages.
  • Then there's an urgent need for money: medical bills, a plane ticket, visa costs, or a crypto "investment".
  • They tell you how to pay: gift cards, wire transfers, payment apps or cryptocurrency, all hard to get back.

The FTC's rule is short: never send money or gifts to someone you haven't met in person. Our guide to romance scams that target people after divorce covers investment stories and what to do if it's happening to you.

Where to report a scam

  • The site: report the profile through the help center, giving the username.
  • US: the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov or 1-877-382-4357, and, for online fraud, the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov.
  • England, Wales and Northern Ireland: Report Fraud, online or on 0300 123 2040.
  • Scotland: Police Scotland on 101.

Meeting for the first time

A short video call before you meet confirms you're talking to the person in the photos and is a fair ask of anyone. Then:

  1. Pick a busy public place you know.
  2. Get there and back under your own steam.
  3. Tell a friend where you'll be and when you expect to be home.
  4. Keep it short: a coffee or a walk.
  5. Keep your home address, your children's school and your work schedule private until you know someone well.

If it's been decades since your last first date, your first date after a long marriage has more practical advice.

Keeping your children out of it, for now

Leave your children out of your profile photos, and don't name them or their school. Don't introduce a new partner early, and don't leave children alone with someone you haven't known for a long time. Our guide to introducing a new partner to your children covers timing in detail.

If your ex is the risk

For some people the danger isn't a stranger; it's the person they've left. If your ex has been controlling, threatening or violent, take that seriously before you date. Assume they could see a dating profile, since profiles are shared across the network, and talk to a domestic abuse service about a safety plan first.

Where you are Who to call
US National Domestic Violence Hotline, 800-799-7233, or text START to 88788
England Refuge's National Domestic Abuse Helpline, 0808 2000 247, free, 24 hours
Wales Live Fear Free, 0808 80 10 800, free, 24 hours
Scotland Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline, 0800 027 1234, 24 hours
Northern Ireland Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline, 0808 802 1414, free, 24 hours
In immediate danger 911 in the US, 999 in the UK

Checking a new partner's history

If something about a new partner worries you, in parts of the UK you can ask the police. In England and Wales, Clare's Law (the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme) lets you ask whether a partner has a history of violence or abuse; the Metropolitan Police notes that any information shared is often summarized and can't be used in court. In Scotland, the Disclosure Scheme for Domestic Abuse Scotland works in a similar way, and you can apply online, at a police station or by calling 101.

In the US there's no equivalent scheme, but the Department of Justice's National Sex Offender Public Website lets anyone search state sex offender registries.

If you decide to leave the site, click your avatar, then Settings > Delete Account; log in help has the details if you can't get in.

Questions people ask

Are profiles on Just Divorced Singles checked?

Photos are reviewed. What members write about themselves, such as age, job, marital status and children, is not checked. An optional ID badge shows someone passed an ID-and-selfie check by LEM Verify, nothing more. Treat every profile as unconfirmed until you've met the person and they've proved consistent over time.

Someone I met online is asking for money. What should I do?

Don't send it, whatever the reason given. Stop replying, report the profile through the help center, and report the scam to the FTC in the US or Report Fraud in England, Wales and Northern Ireland; in Scotland, call Police Scotland on 101. If you've already paid, call your bank first.

My ex might use dating sites to keep tabs on me. Can I hide?

Not completely, because profiles are shared with partner sites in the same network. Use a username and photos that don't identify you, and leave out your town, workplace and children's details. If you feel unsafe, speak to a domestic abuse helpline about a safety plan before you join.

Can I check whether a new partner has a history of abuse?

In England and Wales, the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme, known as Clare's Law, lets you ask the police about a partner's past abuse. In Scotland, the Disclosure Scheme for Domestic Abuse Scotland works in a similar way; apply online, at a police station or on 101. In the US there's no equivalent, though the public National Sex Offender website covers registered offenders.

Keep reading

Sources

Checked October 18, 2026. Spotted something out of date? Tell us.